


The Red Thread

by Nayaa



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Bad at tagging, First Kiss, First Meeting, Healing, Love, M/M, Making Out, MewGulf - Freeform, Romance, eventually, fluffs, idk they fall in love, light angsts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nayaa/pseuds/Nayaa
Summary: Sometime, the most beautiful things in the life  are the ones that are least expected.A 22-year-old, soccer loving who had dabbled in the entertainment industry for a bit during his teenage year, gets a taste of fame and unexpected love.A 28-year-old, fallen from grace due to past mistake, finds a way back to spotlight and redemption with unexpected side effect.ON HOLD INDEFINITELYDo not re-upload or translate to any other languages. Thank you.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Tharn Thara Kirigun/Type Thiwat Phawattakun
Comments: 50
Kudos: 220





	1. First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> The story is my own work. My inspiration for the story is from their videos and events. Any resemblance to any other work is purely coincidental. 
> 
> Hope you like it ❤️❤️🥺

Despite the calm exterior young man in white presented to those who silently observed him, his inside was doing summersaults. With his hair gelled and neatly comb back, his eyebrows creasing together to give of impression of that of angry bird, the young man was lost in his thoughts.

The four friends that had insisted on accompanying him to the audition were a different story. Despite forming a semi-circle around him as if they were bodyguards, the expression and gestures were pleasant as they excitedly converse among each other.

The young man in the other hand was a mess. His heart was ramming against his chest ready to break through and his thoughts were running hundreds mile per hour on all the bad things that could go wrong and embarrassment he would have to live with.

He did have a little experience with the entertainment industry since he had portrayed a younger version of main actor once in a soap opera and even then, he had no acting experiences.

He had never taken any acting classes nor had any vision to pursue the field.

His dream had always lied with _football_ and wherever that sport would lead him. Currently he was interning in a sport broadcasting company to further his future in that field.

Yet, here he was, _auditioning_ for a drama, and not just any drama but BL of all things. Not that he had anything against the LGBTQ communities but since he was straight as far as he was aware, he had never taken any interest in the community.

And he wouldn't have to if not for his friends.

*

Three weeks earlier, along with his friends, the young man had gone to party to celebrate the beginning of spring break and much needed rest from schoolwork.

They enjoyed themselves, partying hard and flirting with anything that moved, be it boy or girl, or even a pole in the club. They were too drunk to distinguish between anything at that point.

Two day later after their body had expel all the alcohol they had consumed, and they were slowly recovering, Rune, oldest of the bunch by 3 month discovered a video of a young man, on his phone, promising to do anything the latter wished for losing the game.

Despite having no memories of the game or having taken the video, smirk covered the eldest's face.

There was nothing more fun than having one at the mercy of other, especially if it's meant teasing the youngest who had always fallen for their pranks despite being smartest of the bunch.

At certain point in their lives, the four friends had concluded that the youngest was only book smart and were little nervous for him on how he was going to survive the real world.

Fast forward, the youngest of the bunch was now sitting and waiting for his name to be called.

His friends had, without his consent, send his resume for the audition. Having had no choice but to keep his word after having seen the video, he reluctantly let his friend do his hair and dress him up in white shirt and denim jean.

His friends were having the time of their life teasing the youngest. However, they had come up with this plan after serious discussion.

Having known the youngest interest in the entertainment industry and his past experience, they couldn't believe the luck when they saw the upcoming drama audition advertisement.

They were a little hesitant at first, since the youngest was shy and never actively mention acting again but the three friends knew that he had a _passion_ for it, even though football would always be his first and most formidable love. So, they took a chance and entered him.

*

So, here they all were, filled with excitement and nervousness, even though the youngest refused to acknowledge that he too was little excited being in front of a camera again.

As his friends made themselves at home, conversing with passerby, the young man kept his stoic expression and glanced around.

Suddenly, scream of excited fangirls and boys filled the room. Young man startled by the sudden noise cranked his neck little higher to see who had been at the receiving end of such welcome. 

His breath _hitched_ as his eye took the view in front of him.

Grayish hair, white shirt with red print on his left arm, and gray black pants. There was nothing outstanding about _his_ get up, but aura that surrounded him was extraordinary.

The young man couldn't pull his eye away. He followed the arrivers' every move as he went in front of his fan and waved at them.

He couldn't hear what he was saying but his mouth was moving, and little scream of excitement erupted from his fans.

The young man couldn't deny how attractive this person was.

By simply standing there, somehow, he had _commanded_ the room attentions.

There was no doubt within the young man that he was straight since he had always crushed on girls and dated girls, well dated _a_ girl, but that does not mean one could not find a man attractive.

_And simply finding one attractive does not mean one is attracted._

He was still intently staring at the man who stood at the center of attention when he heard his name.

"Gulf, _Gulf_.... **_GULF_** " Man screamed right at his ear.

Pulled back from his thoughts, Gulf stood up, alarmed. He gave his friends a questioning look and the other just shook their heads.

Rune pointed at the door where a woman with a clipboard was waiting with questioning look of her own at the group of friends.

While Gulf was lost in his admiration, his turn had come to audition in form a petite woman with high pitch voice calling his name.

Upon seeing no respond from his friend, Rune had answer for him and told her he was coming as Man tried his best to bring Gulf back to reality.

Finally registering that it was his turn to audition, he took a deep breath and walked forward.

"Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong?" the women asked hesitantly.

"Yes, that's me" he responded pointing at his audition number. The women nodded and beckoned him in the room. 


	2. The Welcome

Mew was reluctant to say the least to do the audition. When his manager had told about the opportunity, he had shown little to no enthusiasm toward it.

He was _tired_. _Tired of it all._

However, P'Boss, his manager had insisted Mew try out for the audition, willing him not to give up. Even a small role would help him put his foot back in the industry.

Seeing Mew's expression, P'Boss felt sorry and sense of disappointment within himself emerged. Despite working with Mew for so long, he hadn't been able to protect the young actor from such _cruel_ fate.

When Mew first started his career, he had instantly captured the audiences and proven his worth as an actor. Every role he received, big or small, Mew has done incredible job in performing it. He embodied the character he played in such manner that those who watched him were left in awe.

_There was no doubt that Mew Suppasit was born for the screen, with talents, look, intelligent, and voice accompanying him._

He had thrived until it all came _crashing_ down.

In a blink of an eye, his career ended when world branded him an abuser.

*

When he received the role in What the Duck series, Mew had taken it without a second thought. Even though some scenes were little too explicit, he felt as an actor that he should be _able_ to play any and everything.

Along the way, he made friends with his co-starts and his name in the industry was gradually rising. But the man who played his partner in the series had somehow _captured_ his heart too.

He had followed his heart and signs he received from his co-star that he too felt the same. Never realizing how mistaken he was in reading them when he kissed him that _fateful night_.

He knew his mistake right away. He should have confessed first, but sometime heart overpowers the brain. He _apologized_ instantly, but the face in front him just started at him in shocked.

Mew tried to explain himself, but he was a blabbering mess. At the same time, the young man in front was looking too daze to understand him. So, Mew told him to call him once he was ready to talk and left while apologizing for the last time that night.

The call never came. The co-start had told the world instead. Mew felt betrayed, pained, disgusted and worst of it all, _broken hearted_. 

However, Mew did not shy away from his mistake and apologized despite being a _victim_ himself in this scandal. He was not alone in the fault, but he also wasn't the type to drag other to pull himself up. He would never stand that low no matter what the world throws at him.

Some listened and forgave, other turned away, but worse were those who believed in all the lies that were fed to them.

The only truth on that video was the kiss and nothing else. But by admitting that he had kissed him, people took everything from that video as the purest form of truth.

Mew did his best to prove his innocence, but the world remains _adamant_. He tried to get up and start anew but doors were slammed on his face. Everyone acted like they knew exactly what happen inside those four walls.

Mew understood that judgements and criticism are inevitable in this field, yet world refused to let him move on from it.

_Finally, he felt like he had exhausted his soul._

He focused on his study instead and took on piano classes. He had always found solace in music. It helped sooth his soul and lighten his load.

After two year of this, Mew's heart was lighter, and he was slowly _healing_. So, it's no wonder that he didn't want to go back. He had no desire to face that world.

But P'Boss knew how much acting meant to Mew. It was his dream, his _passion_. You could tell from the way he embodies each character he played, how much he loved acting.

Therefore, even if Mew wanted to give up, P'Boss was not ready to admit defeat. He refused. So, Mew half-heartedly agreed.

The Day of the audition, Mew took his time getting ready. For a man who had always favor punctuality, he wished time would speed up and he won't even have to go. But he had promised P'Boss he would come, and _promises_ aren't something Mew likes to break.

So, he forced himself in the car and finally drove off.

He was late. No doubt about it since he had just laid in bed after waking up and stared at nothing until he couldn't anymore. Then he had finally gotten ready.

Reaching the audition site, he parked the car and made his way toward the building. His heart was restless, but he kept a calm front.

As he entered, he was genuinely surprised by the welcome he received.

He had never thought that his fans, those who still stayed with him even after everything, would come to _support_ him.

P'Boss had mentioned about his fan clubs being there to support him since he saw few retweets about the audition after he had tweeted about Mew auditioning. However, Mew had paid no attention to it.

Now, seeing them, Mew felt such overwhelm sets of emotion overcome him, appreciation above all.

But he had mastered the art of control as if he invented it himself. With a smile that showed his perfectly aligned teeth, Mew was ready to start the show as he took a step forward. He walked over and greeted them. They welcomed him with encouragements and enthusiasms.

Mew had no idea that he was being _observed_ by a young man from across the hall. His stare was intense to say the least. He was looking at Mew if he was a piece of art, jigsaw puzzle waiting to be cracked. Mew, Oblivious to this, happily conversed with his fans.

But fans are like detectives, nothing ever goes _unnoticed_ by them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh so I hope it was okey! Idk...hope you guys liked it. 👉🏼👈🏼🥺


	3. The Result

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first round is over with unexpected 😌 results!!

Gulf was ecstatic to say the least. Everything felt _surreal_. Not only had the audition gone well but he had been short listed for a role. Not just any role but the _main role_. He couldn't believe it.

His friends were equally excited for the youngest and thrilled about his short listing. They insisted on celebration, but Gulf had to be back tomorrow for couple audition.

Since youngest was a terrible drinker, he would no doubt be hangover. So, they opted out for big dinner instead. His friends boosted about their hands on Gulf's successful audition, but Gulf reminded them he hadn't forgiven them for blindsiding him like that.

He had been scared shitless, standing in front of the judge’s panel when he was called in. He had stutter when introducing himself as well.

The author and the director had found the boy awfully cute, and therefore were unsure whether he would be able to portray " _Type_ ", the character he was auditioning for. The character was a hot head, with anger problem to say the least.

The boy in front of them looked completely _opposite_ of what they had in mind. However, when they had given him the part of script to play out, he had taken them all by surprise. He completely took over the character, anger emitting off of him in waves, even his eyebrows were _on point_.

The panel immediately short listed him and prayed that his couple audition will be as good.

P'Tee, the director of the series felt like he had found his "Type" but didn't voice his opinion since he wasn't the only one in charge of casting.

  
  


Thus, Gulf was celebrating his good fortune and dreading his coming days. He still needed to inform his family on what had passed but he felt it was better to wait until final casting was announced.

Being short listed was just a luck, _he felt_. He was sure he won't make it pass tomorrow's audition, but he still was proud of being short listed.

He was thankful for what his friends had done, even though he had been unwilling at first. Being in front of the camera, acting, he had felt electricity ran through his body. He had _missed_ it, the way it had felt when he first acted. _He never thought he would feel it again._

As he laid on bed that night, his mind drifted back to the audition and a face of man came to his mind. His heart _skipped_ a beat.

_What the hell was that?_

Gulf jerked forward and placed his hand on his chest. He couldn't seriously be crushing on a man he just saw once. Groaning, Gulf laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. Even in his dream, the man refused to leave his mind.

  
  


Mew couldn't _believe_ it. He had been skeptical at first about the whole thing. The only reason he had come was because of the promise he made to P'Boss. He couldn't wait for the whole thing to be over so he could leave. _But everything had gone the other way._

He had audition for role of "P'San", since the age matched his, but when he had finished auditioning, the panel had requested him to try out for role of " _Tharn_ ". He was taken back but he did as he was asked.

Both Mame and P'Tee, the author and director of the series respectively, had a knowing _glint_ in their eyes after his audition. They had been right. He did make a good 'Tharn', _better_ than 'P'San'

After the audition, they had asked Mew to wait in other room with his Manager. Being an actor, there were some perks to it, but he still felt _uneasy_. These people obviously had to know about his past, yet they showed no sign of it. Even the staff members were friendly and kind to him, offering drinks and snacks.

The reason for such treatment lied on their _experiences_. Everyone working on the series were very familiar with the entertainment industry and even it's dark side. They knew how twisting media can be, therefore, despite the reputation Mew had, they were all willing to get to know the man and his true character if he were to become part of the cast.

After a few minutes of waiting, staff member came in to _congratulate_ him on being short listed. P'Boss let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

_It's not all bad being back._ Mew Smiled.

The staff member handed the list of people who had been short listed to the manager and left the room. Since Mew was an actor, the manager always made sure to know the people he had to work with, so everything would go smoothly.

" _ **WHAT**_ " P'Boss exclaimed. "I thought you auditioned for ' _P'san_?'"

"I did" Mew replied nonchalantly.

" _Then why are you short listed for 'Tharn' instead?_ " Both of them stared at each other in confusion until it clicked.

"Ah, they asked me to try out for Tharn's role, I didn't think much about it and just did it"

"They must have liked you as Tharn better then" Chuckled P'Boss.

They were quiet for a minute, letting what just happened register.

" _Fuck_ " Mew breathe, but there was a smile forming in the corner of his lips.

"This is it" P'Boss replied. "Your door to your dream, don't let it close Mew"

Both men were overwhelmed with emotion but kept it under stride. They gave each other a pat in the back and laughed at how things had turned out.

That night, Mew slept like a baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, leaving kudos and comments. I loved reading them and they are such a encouragement to continue writing. 
> 
> Kana is Whipped no doubt lol! It’s always Mew that’s whipped, so this time I wanted a reversal 😁😁!!


	4. The Heat

Mew was _restless_ and tired. It had been hours since he had been here. He had already done about ten couple auditions for _Tharntype_ series that he had been short listed for but none of the actors he had acted with felt right. The lack of _chemistry_ was evident.

It didn't escape the panels critical eyes either.

Thus, Mew was laying down on a small couch with cold water bottle pressed to his forward. The room was warm despite the low humming of the ceiling fan above.

Unlike the other actors auditioning, Mew had a small room to his own, benefit of being a veteran in the field. Staff members would occasionally come and go, sometime offering him water or snacks.

In the other hand, the staff members had not only noticed how good looking the actor was but his _charming manners_ as well. He was kind and would offer help if he saw them doing something. Of course, they refused his help politely but they couldn't help feel warm by his gestures.

As his _true_ character was slowly being learned by those around him, Mew gradually fall asleep on the couch. The cool air of the ceiling fan and cold water pressed to his forehead lulled the young actor to dream land.

P'Boss came in the room shortly, only to find Mew fast asleep. Instead of waking the actor, he took some pictures instead. 

_Fans would love these._

There was still sometime before his next couple audition, so p'Boss let the man sleep.

Some staff members also witnessed the sight and couldn't help stealing glances occasionally at the beautiful man sleeping few feet away from them as they continued to work.

  
  


While Mew was Fast asleep, Gulf was having hard time breathing. He had been auditioning all day and the look on the panels faces told him none of them were what they _expected_ or _wanted._

The heat wasn't helping. He had been sitting and waiting for his next audition in room full of newbie actors like himself and the body heat emitting from each one of them was making the room even warmer. 

_The air conditioning in the room is terrible_.

Gulf had already asked for two water bottles from the staff and didn't have the confident to ask again as he looked at both of his empty bottles laying next to him. He huffed out a sign and closed his eyes. The wall he was leaning against at least felt _cool_ and his body relaxed a bit.

He wasn't sure how more of these auditions he needed to do. At this point, he felt exhausted and just wanted to go back to his cool condo and sleep.

His friends had came to the audition with him but weren't allowed in. Only those who were short listed were _permitted_. Regretfully, they left, making him promise to call them and tell them all about how the audition goes.

Gulf had nervously nodded as he watched his friends leave. He was little scared of being alone, without anyone there to encourage him. He was an _introvert_ to his bone, unlikely to approach anyone. Nevertheless, he tried to reassure himself that he was an adult, he can take care of himself.

So, Gulf spent last four hours auditioning with different actors who had been short listed for ' _Tharn_ ', partner of ' _Type_ '. He had done his best with all of them but none of them had _felt right_.

The panel silently agreed with his thoughts.

Gulf had spent his breaks between auditions playing games and replying to his friends messages.

As he waited for his next audition, he took out his phone again to busy himself but noticing the red line on right hand corner of his phone, he let out a sign.

He needed his phone to call a ride home. He couldn't risk it dying so he put it away again.

  
Gulf eyes wondered around the room, unconsciously looking for the _man_ that had invaded his mind since he first saw him but he was nowhere to be.

_Maybe he didn't pass the first audition. That's a shame._

Gulf signed again. Nothing was going right. He closed his eyes and waited for his turn to be called in. 

  
  


Mew had been asleep for half an hour when P'Boss woke him up. Rubbing his eyes, Mew sat up, forcing the water bottle resting on his forehead to tumble to the floor.

P'Boss picked it up as Mew mumbled sorry and stood up. Stretching his limbs, his manager informed him it was time for his last couple audition, then he was done. Mew nodded weakly, sleep still evident in his eyes.

"Let me run to the bathroom first, I'll meet you in the room" Mew said, heading toward the door.

P'Boss nodded, as he gathered their things before heading to the audition room.

  
  


Gulf had been called to the room a few minutes earlier and was told that it was his last couple audition when the _man_ he thought he would never see again walked in. He felt a _flutter_ rise in his stomach as he quickly looked away.

_How can a man be that beautiful. It's inhuman._

Gulf thought as he looked everywhere but the person who came and stood next to him.

Both the director and the author looked at the two young man in front of them. Somehow, both looked so out of place next to each other, yet complimented each other's presence perfectly. A _contradiction._

"Mew, this is Gulf Kanawut, auditioning for ' _Type_ '" P'Mame was the first to break the silent.

Mew turned to look at the young man next to him and was little surprise at his demure. He looked angry with his eyebrow creasing together as he faced straightforward.

"And Gulf, this is Mew Suppasit, he will play your character's partner" P'Mame added.

Having no choice but to look at the man who had taken over his mind since the first time he saw him, Gulf stared at his face and nodded, willing his mind and heart to _obey_ him.

The experienced actor flashed out a devastating smile at the young man and Gulf _felt_ his heart stopped. He quickly turned away as P'Mame narrated what part of script they will do.

It was a part where the main character made up with a kiss after a fight. It was different scene, one that Gulf hadn't done with other actors. They were all mostly about him being angry or yelling at them. _This was new_.

It wasn't the case for Mew. P'Mame had asked him to do this scene with four of his couple auditions, so he _already_ knew what was expected. The young man in the other hand looked little nervous, as his adam apple _blobbed_ up and down few time

"Follow my lead, I've already done this part a few times" Mew said, catching other man's attention.

Gulf nodded at Mew weakly as one of the staff member approached them with the script.

  
Mew took the script that was handed to him, as the lady focused her attention on Gulf. She told him his line and the _kiss_ scene he needed to do.

Gulf was little taken back. He hadn't expected them to ask him to kiss anyone but didn't voice his opinion. Being a newbie actor, Gulf didn't realize he just needed to look like he was kissing the other man, _not literally do it_.

His friends didn't worry about the young man for no reason. His _naivety_ was nothing new to them.

Having memorized the couple of lines he needed to say, Gulf _reluctantly_ turned to look at the man next to him.

This scene required him to be angry yet coax the man in front of him into forgiving him.

( _A/N: it's the scene where Tharn is angry when Type pushed him away when he kissed him in the bar. So, it's the makeup scene afterward, where Type kisses him and they become "causal lover"_.)

Mew was already in character and the Gulf tried to steady his beating heart as he _embody_ Type's persona.

Both of them executed the scene _perfectly_ , adding little movements of their own. When it was time for Gulf to kiss Mew, _he went for it_ , expecting warm flash. Instead felt a cold plastic against his lips.

Mew had lifted the script just in time as Gulf leaned forward. Gulf body instantly _heated_ up, leaving his face and ear red. Not only did his body naturally reacted to Mew, he had been so close to kissing him. He could hear his own heartbeats, _deafening_ his ear and prayed nobody else did.

Everyone in the room witnessed their _flawless_ performance. After thanking the actors for coming, they were told to wait outside.

  
Gulf's red face and ear didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room, _including_ Mew, who found the young man _cute_ , contrary to how stoic he had looked in the beginning.

P'Boss and Mew headed back to the room, while Gulf went back to the hall where other newbie actors were waiting. His body and face still felt warm. 

Mastering as much courage as he could, he asked the staff for a bottle of water.

_That wasn't so bad_. 

Finishing the whole bottle in one go, Gulf took his seat, leaning his back to the wall.

  
  


P'Tee, the director, found Mew and his manager inside the room. He informed them that they will call the _finalist_ next week to tell them the result. Before letting them go, the director asked Mew who made him _feel_ like 'Tharn' the most while performing.

"The last one, Gulf, I think that's what P'Mame called him." P'Tee smiled _knowingly_ as he bid them goodbye.

  
Gulf was called inside the audition room before he could leave. As he entered, P'Mame beckoned him toward her.

"You did well Gulf" she smiled at him and he returned the smile.

"The result will be announced next week, but I wanted to ask you something before you leave"

"Yes?"

"While you were auditioning, who made you _feel_ like 'Type' the most?"

_"Mew Suppasit_ " Gulf answered without hesitation, as did his ear that colored itself red again.

P'Mame smiled and told him he could leave.

P'Tee entered the room as Gulf exited. His eyes met P'Mame and both smiled at each other.

_They had found their 'Type' and 'Tharn'. The search was finally over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I been sick last two days but Luckily I had this chapter pre-written so I am posting it. All my other AU has to be on hold for now until I feel better enough to write. I am sorry!! 🥺
> 
> I hope you guys are feeling better than I am.  
> Thank you for reading and leaving encouraging comments and Kudos. I always look forward to them. ❤️❤️


	5. The Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get to know each other but Gulf still can't get use to Mew's presence without his heart beating uncontrollably.

Week later, both Mew and Gulf received the call with the final result of the audition. Respectively, both of them had received the role.

Despite the reluctance Mew had shown to going back to the industry, he was _ecstatic_. This was his chance at redemption. His chance to prove the world that had spited at him who he truly was and get his life back.   
  


Mew felt his whole body lighten and strength that had once left him gradually came back. He was back. Back and ready to _conquer_ once again. _This time he will not make the same mistake twice._  
  


His family had always been his rock, his _support_ system. They were happy for him but mom being mom sternly told her son that he should not neglect his study either. Mew smile at her scolding, while hugging her.   
  


It had been a long time since the mother had seen her son's smile reach his eyes.

  
  


Gulf sat at his bed in daze after the call ended. His happy dance around the room little while ago was replaced with confusion. Now what?   
  


He had never anticipated he would pass the audition, let alone get the role. The main role, mind you. So, he proceeded to text the group that had made it possible in the first place. The group chat blew up the moment he told them the happy news. Once again, celebration was demanded and no was out of the question.   
  


Afterward, he called his family and told them what had passed. His dad, man of few words, much like his son, grunted at the news and congratulate the son. Mom excitedly ask for all the details and his big sister teased him about kissing a man.   
  


Gulf smiled as he heard his parent scold her.   
  


His family had always been opened minded, unlike half of the world that was still stuck in the dark age. Of course, it also help that his sister was bisexual and had dated a girl before, whom she had introduce to the family, only to break it off after 2 year of dating.   
  


Both Mew and Gulf were told about the contract signing date and first script reading that would happen in the coming months. Preparation were under way. P'Mame mailed all the actors the book the series was going to be based on. She had been very _adamant_ about them reading it so they will be better prepared.   
  


She called both Mew and Gulf few times to follow up on the readings. She wasn't worried about Mew not reading the book, but younger of the two definitely needed little more pushing to get on with the reading. Gulf had _never_ read a BL book before and top of that, it was so explicit that he kept putting it down.

A week after he had received the book, he got a _phone call_ from unknown number. _Mew Suppasit_ introduced himself to red face Gulf Kanawut on the other side of the line. He told him that P'Mame had given him the number so they could get to know each other since they will be working very intimately with each other.

Gulf knew that Mew had gotten the other role when he had received the result. He had been preparing himself on how to talk to the other man without giving away his crush.

  
Gulf had never felt anything like this for other man before, and the man he was feeling this toward would be in a professional relationship with him. He needed to be _professional_.   
  


Gulf had also found out about Mew's acting career and his eventual downfall via his friends. They all knew him but Gulf had never been much into movies or series, therefor hadn't recognized Mew when he first saw him. 

All of his friend, along with Gulf agreed that they had no right to judge the man without knowing him. _Media can be twisting and dark_. Since Gulf was going to be working with him, he needed to approach him with a blank slate and open mind and get to know the man first before judging his character. 

His friends were also fans of Mews', which was a news to Gulf. Therefore, they were hyped about Gulf acting with him and agreed with his approach whole heartily. Of course, all of them were secretly hoping to meet the star one day through their friend.

So here was Gulf, stuttering yes's and no's and barely talking as Mew asked him questions after questions. 

Thinking back to the audition day, his red ears and face, Mew concluded that the boy might be shy, especially since it his first series. So to ease his mind, Mew decided he'll talk and let the boy take his time. 

To familiarized himself with the young man he would be working with and to get the other man more comfortable around him, Mew decided to call him everyday. 

Gulf wasn't complaining, in fact he started looking forward to their conversations. They mostly talked about the book and scenes. Gulf would stutter and barely say anything when they talk about the sex part. Fifty percent of the book was sex, so Mew knew they needed to prepare themselves, which required mutual comfort.

They kept talking on the phone and eventually Gulf became more comfortable with him that they began to FaceTime. Now Gulf was talking as well, which made Mew realize that the boy only needed a little push and _coaxing_ to get his wall down.

They both learned more about each other as day went by. Their six year old age gap was slowly winding down as they try to find more _common_ ground. Turned out, they both enjoyed playing games, ROV the most. Mew wasn't as into as Gulf was but he indulge the young man anyways. Thus, playing games was added to their nightly routine.

Between playing games and phones calls, Mew asked the younger man to meet up. He knew _physical interaction_ was equally important. 

First few meetings, Gulf went back to the way he was at the beginning, stuttering and barley speaking. Gulf had gotten comfortable speaking to him on the phone that seeing him up close, he couldn't help but see how devastatingly handsome Mew was and his heart again refuse to listen to him.

It took him over five meetings to meet Mew's eyes and have comfortable conversations without his heart beating out of his chest and his ear going _red_.

Mew found out that Gulf did not have a manager and asked P'Boss to recommend someone for him. With Mew and P'Boss's help, P'Best became Gulf's manager. P'Best liked the boy right away. He found him straightforward but shy. He was _endearing_.

Weeks went by and it was finally the day to sign the contract. Both Mew and Gulf were present with their manager. Gulf mom had also come to support her son.

P'Best and she became best friend right away with similar sense of humor. Everything went smoothly and date for script reading was scheduled as well as workshop the following week to get the actors to become familiarize with each other more intimately.   
  


_Finally, it was time._


	6. The Declaration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins

Mew and Gulf, with countless late night phone calls and lunch as well as dinner meetings whenever they were available had brought _ease_ to their conversations and interaction.

At this point, they were what one would call an _acquaintance_ , leaning toward friendship but not quite there _yet_.

There wasstill this _awkwardness_ in their stances as they met for their lunch or dinner book reading slash getting to know each other better dates.

Phone conversations were easier, not having to worry about what expressions you were making or where to put your hand.

Despite the facts, they had started to breakdown each other's wall, but they still had much further to go.

Before the first workshop, an interview with TEP was scheduled for them to get the word out about the series and introduced themselves to the BL _fandoms_.

Gulf was extremely nervous and top of that the interview was in _English_. He did his best not to show what his heart felt.

He was fascinated by how easily Mew took over and would help him out without taking the spotlight whenever he found himself struggling.

Mew's presence and easy going personality bought ease to Gulf and he found himself breathing much easier.

However, Mew wasn't any better, since it was his first interview in two years but he had _experiences_. That gave him an upper hand.

....

When asked about how Gulf would get himself in character, he refer to Mew without hesitation.

"I have an experienced partner, I hope he will guide and help me"

"Right, since you have acted on BL series before" the interviewer add looking toward Mew.

"Nooo, I don't know anything, I am scared" Mew tease, laughter emitting around the studio.

....

"Gulf, i know that this is your first major acting role but given the chance, would you rather act in _Boy girl show or BL show?_ " the interviewer asked Gulf.

Gulf understood the gist of what was being asked but he still repeated the question to Mew to get his approval on his understanding of the question.

Mew nodded, reiterating the question.

_"_ Honestly, it does not really matter to me, I believe being an actor means being able to play any character to the best of your ability" He answered in Thai, struggling to find the appropriate word in English to convey what he wanted to get across.

Pride swelled up inside Mew and warmed his heart. _He hadn't expected that._

Before he even realized what he was doing, his thump was raised as he praised Gulf,

Declaring" _awesome_ " twice.

......

"Mew, the character you are playing is an 18 year old, how do plan to embody him due to the age gap you share with the character?"

"What do you mean, I am 18" Mew pouted, bring another fresh round of laughter to the room.

"Either way, I don't think age matters as long as your performance makes the viewer believe in your character" Mew added.

.......

"Gulf, you are new to the industry, how do you plan to maneuver.....does it scares you a little now that you are about to start this chapter of your life?"

"Yes a little, but I believe P'Mew will protect me"

Mew was startle to say the least. It was so completely unexpected that he couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I will protect you?"

"Yes, absolutely" Gulf answered, his confident _unwavering_.

Another layer of wall crumbled without his permission. Mew’s heart was unsteady.

The confidence in which Gulf put his trust on him had Mew stunned and surprised at how random his partner was going to be.

As much as he enjoy being surprise, Mew felt like his heart might not survive the whole filming of Tharntype.

For the rest of the interview, the smile refused to leave Mew's face.

The workshop day arrived. It was also their first time meeting the rest of the casts and crews.

After introductions were made and the awkwardness in the room demise a bit, It was time for the casts to break the ice completely. 

Various activities were prepared, silly and downright weird but very handsy to help the casts know each other and feel ease in each other's circle.

Gulf was quite, not knowing how to start any conversations.He mostly found himself just hanging around, listening and giving one worded replies. He wasn't trying to be rude, it was who he was, especially in front of people he had just met.

Rest of the cast consisted mostly of extrovert, so they didn't know how to take on Gulf.

It felt awkward and they tried to steer clear of him.Gulf didn't mind. _He was never the one for fitting in, he'll sit alone if he has to._

That's how he found a himself in a corner of the room, busying himself with games on his phone whenever they had breaks.

Mew knew Gulf's personality better than other, since he, himself had to get past that wall before. He did his best to bring him out and converse with other. Sometime it worked, sometimes it was just awkward since Gulf had no idea what to say. 

The hardest part of workshop, one Gulf was dreading finally came.

_The physical interaction with Mew alone._

Since their role had lot of NC scenes, they needed to be completely comfortable with each other.Sitting across Mew, Gulf Couldn't look him in the eyes. Suddenly the floor seems so much more interesting.

"Can I hold your hand?" came a gentle whispered.

Gulf's heart _skipped_ a beat. And instantly Gulf's eyes found Mew.

**_THUMP, THUMP_ **

His heartbeats felt deafening.  
  


_Fuck, I thought I was over that stupidcrush_.

Gulf had gotten use to Mew's presence over the time period they had met. His blushed no longer visual, his heartbeat normalized.Yet, one intimate sentence and all of it came back as if it never _left_. 

Mew was waiting and they needed to do this. He _needed_ to get use to Mew's touch and Mew to his's.They would be doing so much more than holding hand later on, so this was nothing. This should be _nothing_. 

However, he couldn't find his voice, so he numbly nodded. Smiling, Mew took his hand. They looked small inside Mew's. Gulf's gaze slowly traveled from their hands to Mew's face. 

The Latter was looking at him with such _softness_ that Gulf's face warmed up instantly.

"It's okey, it will get better" Mew laughed. "More often we do this, you'll get use to it"

Mew thought it was because It was Gulf's first time doing something like this with man.Gulf breathe a sign of _relief_ at that and laughed along side Mew, his face resembling a red sunset. 

Mew laid on the couch that night, _Call me by your name_ playing on the big screen in front of him.He had already seen the movie but he still felt like it was a good idea to refresh his memory. 

Before they left the workshop, their acting coach had given the cast members _homework_ , a character from a movie that they would portray during the next workshop.His and Gulf was the main lead from _Call me by your name_ and the scene was their first _kiss_. 

Despite Mew's eyes being glued to the screen, his mind kept conjuring the blush cover face of Gulf, making him feel things he _refuse_ to acknowledge.

Gulf on the other hand, had his head buried on his pillow, screaming into it.He had just finished the movie and the scene they are supposed to do was so _intimate_ that he felt so frustrated. He can barley look Mew in the eyes, can't touch him without becoming a tomato. 

_How the fuck am I suppose to act like that, top of that initiate the kiss too._

He knew he didn't have to kiss him for real this time but still they would be close enough to make it look real that his breath would _mingle_ with Mew's.

Just the thought of that had Gulf screaming again in his pillow.As he was busy letting his frustration out, his phone rang. Forcing himself to get up, he reached for his phone laying on the nightstand. 

Mew's name _flashed_ on the screen.

_Fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading and leavings comments and kudos💜! They always make my day! 
> 
> Kana is so whipped in this, idk how else to write him 😌😌


	7. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unexpected kiss! 
> 
> (The one we all Waanjais wish there was a video of 🤧🤧)

Gulf was _kissing_ him. It took Mew exactly three second to register what was happening before he kissed him back, with as much _urgency_ as Gulf was kissing him with. But Mew couldn't afford to lose himself, not right now, not like these, no matter how good he tasted. 

Few gasps and snickers that emitted from the room snapped Mew back to his sense.He needed to get back into character, get his pace back. He _channeled_ Oliver as quickly as he had lost him when pair of soft chestnut lips had crashed into his. He broke the kiss. A small whimper escaped Gulf's lip and he almost pulled him back. _Almost_. But they needed to finish the scene and with great difficulty but efficient, they did.

  
A round a applause and few whistles echoed in the room. Mew got up and laughed alongside his co-stars, winking at Gulf and teasingly bowing. Doing his best to _normalize_ the situation, that he hadn't just made out with Gulf in front of everyone. 

Gulf, in the other hand had became a tomato. Unable to look anyone in the eyes but accepted the pats and encouraging words all the same. The acting coach was thrilled by their performance and _chemistry_. It would be much easier to work with them then he had anticipated. Especially the younger one since it was his first time doing a series but the _boldness_ he just showed made the coach realize he was up for the lessons, _ready_ to learn.

When everything had died down, their evaluation and advices regarding the performance given, Mew sat down in a corner where Gulf usually does. He was still processing what had happened. Never in million year would he have _expected_ Gulf to do something like that, especially witnessing how shy he still gets with their skinships.

Especially not after their phone call two days ago.It was abrupt and _unrehearsed_ to say the least.

Few days ago, while watching the movie, he had called Gulf to discuss the scene they would be doing.He would never admit it that he _wanted_ to hear the younger man's voice because his face refused to leave his mind. He wanted to hear his thoughts, his take on things. But Mew would _never_ acknowledge that younger man effected him in any ways. 

Gulf had picked up the call after the fourth ring and they had talk for an hour.Mew heard the _hesitation_ in his voice, and maybe bit of fear. 

"Don't worry too much okey" Mew said. "We'll rehearse together before doing it, it'll be fine" 

"But phi, ar-aren't you little nervous, I mean, with everyone.. of course you _aren't_ , cause cause y-you done it before.. I am..I mean.. you know, w-with everyone _watching_ and everything...how can I.."

Gulf trailed off and Mew found his rumbling endearing.The scene was intimate, but he hadn't thought how Gulf was feeling about performing something like that with everyone's eyes on them. He was use to it but Gulf wasn't. For the rest of their call, he did his best to reassure the younger boy. 

When they had arrived at the workshop and greeted everyone, they found a corner to practice.Rehearsing lines and trying to get the emotions _right_. Mew had studied Oliver throughly, trying to get into the character's head so he _understand_ his actions. Therefore, he did his best to help Gulf understand Elio. But when he channeled Oliver as they said their lines, Elio emerged _naturally_ from Gulf. 

_But Kiss was unplanned and Unexpected._

Mew huffed out a sign as he leaned his head back against the cool wall.

_How the fuck am I gonna survival this filming if he keeps pulling shit like that._

Mew thought he had Gulf all figured out. Introvert, shy, sulky before lunch, always sleepy and a hothead gamer.But the ways he kept _surprising_ Mew with his words and actions, Mew prayed he'll make it through it all in once piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I know the updates have been slow for both of my current AUs but I have big papers due. Classes have been a pain in the ass but I am trying to stay ahead of it.  
> I am better at writing oneshots than continuing story lol, so it’s even more harder to update with multiple things going on.  
> Stay safe and healthy na.  
> Sending positive vibe.  
> Keep loving and supporting our boys💜❣️
> 
> Leave a comments/Kudos if you liked it🤗🤗  
> 


	8. The Excuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is Gulf gonna say when Mew ask him why he kissed him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥺💜

He hadn't planned it and he didn't mean to.

_God, he really didn't mean to._

He never planned to kiss Mew. His body had taken over before his mind could reason. When the time came to kiss Oliver, Elio had gotten up and straddle him. All Gulf had to do was lean in, angle it just right, so it looks like they were kissing. 

Then Mew would pull his head back, as if breaking the _pretense_ kiss. That would be his sign to get off his lap, lie back next to him, on his stomach, legs up in the air, twisting his feet together. Sense of achievement and _longing_ in his demure.The ambiance of carefreeness that's meant to come off as he plays with imaginary grass, longing for _another_ kiss. 

_That was the Plan. That was the script._

Instead, he had kissed him. And Mew had kissed him back but there was that second of _hesitation_. A surprise. Before they stole each other's breaths.

But as fast as it had happened, Mew pulled back and Gulf instantly felt the loss, wanting nothing more than to do it _again_.But when his half lid-den eyes looked up, it wasn't Mew who was looking back, it was _Oliver_.

As Gulf heart _broke_ a little for reasons he didn't understand himself, Elio was back. Off Oliver's lap and playing with pretend grass as he delivered his line flawlessly. 

Gulf still don't know why he had done what he had done but everyone was praising him for being so good, for how real it had felt, how they brought the character to life.Character. Oliver. Kiss. 

_It wasn't Mew who had kissed me back, it was Oliver._

But it had been _Gulf_ who had kissed him.With red face and broken smile, Gulf pulled through the rest to day, hoping the day would end, so he could escape this. Escape Mew. Escape his own heart. To try to understand what had happened in safety of his room. 

As soon as the workshop was done, Gulf said his goodbye and left without a second glance. 

Mew would _ask_. Without a doubt, he would.They hadn't rehearsed it and he had done it so _unexpectedly_. He hadn't plan to but Mew's face was so close to his, so close that they breath each other's air in. Mew, looking at him with those eyes of his, and Gulf couldn't stop himself even if he had tried. _He had tried._

But he couldn't say that to anyone. He needed to stop saying it himself too.He needed _excuse_ to tell Mew, to make him believe him.Even more, he needed himself to believe something else,something that wasn't what his mind was currently screaming at him.

Could he be falling in love?

_No!!! Not right now. Not with him._

They would kiss _again_. Without a doubt. Over half of the book was sex, so no doubt they would.Gulf needed to be prepared. He can't afford lose himself again, not like that, _never_ again. He wanted Mew in his life and only way to do that was to keep it _professional_ , so maybe at the end of the day, he might gain a friend in Mew. 

But he needed to talk to someone, to confide in someone. All of this was new to Gulf, it was becoming _overwhelming_. Crushing him. Filming a show, having a crush on a guy, everything was becoming too much. He was on verge of exploding or collapsing or both. He needed this off his chest. Mew off his mind and a really good excuse for the kiss. 

He opened his phone and went through his contact.P'Grace. His sister. His rock. Moment she picked up, sob broke through Gulf. 

Week after the unexpected kiss, Mew finally asked.

"We were gonna kiss later anyways, so i thought I go for it" Gulf nonchalantly answered. "I didn't think you would mind since you were _experienced_....you don't do you?" 

"...no..no, I was just surprised, we didn't rehearsed it and you didn't say anything either" Mew answered, taken back by Gulf's tone.

"I didn't either but once we started I thought it was a good chance for me to test myself and get more comfortable about it" Gulf smiled.

"Ah"

"You said _more_ we do it, more easier it becomes and I can't be looking like a tomato every time when we film"

"I didn't mean to _literally_ kiss when I said that, I meanholding hands, hugging..." Mew laughed at Gulf's explanation.

"I know but see" gesturing to his face"after we kissed I don't really blush anymore."

Gulf smiled widely, his retainer making him look even more adorable than Mew _already_ found him.

"Oh?"   


_well this is interesting_

Mew thought as he looked at Gulf with one eyebrow raised. Smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

That Conversations had gone better than what Gulf had expected.

After P'Grace had helped him calm down, they had talked. He had told her everything and she had patiently listened. Afterward, she had comforted him. _Eased_ his burdens and gave him advices and much needed _excuse_. She had advice him _against_ _confessing_ since this was a person he would be closely working with for many months. 

Also sometime crushes go away. Top of that, Mew happen to be extremely attractive so that could be the reason Gulf was instantly infatuated with the man.

"Having a crush is normal, don't stress too much nong" 

"But he's.."

"I know but listen, just be yourself and talk to him normally. You're going to be working with him so, see where it goes. Once you get to know him more and it doesn't go away then _confess_ but from now, put it in back of your mind and be professional."

Gulf sign. _She was right._

"You don't know anything about each other, you've only met few months ago and all you've done is talk about the series. So get to know him, let him get to know you and let the nature take its course."

"Yeah...I get it.."

"I'll always be here for you nong"

"I know, I love you...and thank you"

" _Always_ "

That night, he fall asleep with light heart and less burden mind.

Mew had _believed_ him. Everyone had believed him and praised him for such bold move.

"A method actor huh!" Mild has teased and he had given him a shy smile.Just like that, workshops was coming to an end. 

The casts had built a close knitted _friendship_ during that time. They had understood Gulf's personality better too and a comfortable silence was established whenever it was _needed_. Everything was falling into place. 

Mew and Gulf had gotten _extremely_ close and _handsy_ over time. Mostly to help their skinship and partly because Mew had become weirdly obsess with Gulf's belly.Often Mew had him sit on his lap, something everyone got use to after a few times, and would pat his belly continuously.

"nong, it's so softeeee..." Mew whine, nuzzling his face in Gulf's neck as latter leaned his back against Mew's chest.Gulf wasn't complaining, in fact he looked forward to it, welcomed all the _skinship_ he received from Mew. 

His crush on him only _increased_ by day but he had learn to hide it better now. Maybe it was because of the acting lessons he received or maybe he was just use to being with Mew. Whatever it was, Mew had became his _Khun pi_ and Gulf Mew's _yai nong._

He had no plan to lose this relationship, no plan to lose Mew, especially over something that he himself didn't understand. Something he himself wasn't ready to _admit_. Yet.

_Therefore, Mew must never know._


	9. The Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The filming begins.

Gulf's nerves were killing him. It's was the first day of filming and he wanted to throw up. He seriously thought he was ready for this since the workshops had gone well. The acting director and other staff members had praised him for how well he was picking up and improving on his lessons.

P'Mew had been nothing but encouragingand supporting throughout it all. It had even made the younger feel a little bad since he felt like he didn't have much to offer back to his Phi.

Gulf had watched Mew's other works to get the feel of actor more. He was astonished by just how good the man was. He would never tell anyone but he even had _cried_ in one of the short film that Mew has starred in while watching it.

Therefore, Gulf felt _incompetent_ next him. He didn't want to drag him down and he knew how much of Mew's new start was riding on this show. Gulf felt the content of his stomach rising up and he ran to the bathroom.

Mew's eyes following him all the way until he disappeared behind the door.

Mew signed. Just one look at Gulf's pale face and he could tell that last night’s conversation hadn't ease the younger man's burden. Gulf had called him around 1 am, panic evident in his voice. Mew had already been asleep when his ringtone woke him up. He had ignored it and went back to sleep. But it rang again. And again. _And again_.

Sleepy and angry, Mew was ready to kill whoever it was behind the screen when a soft, scared voice greeted him.

"P-P'mew...did I wake you up?" Mew's anger vanished the moment Gulf's voice reached his ear.

"Gulf, are you crying?"

"Wh-what, no, no I am not.....I-I just can't sleep" Gulf signed " I am so nervous Phi, my heart won't settle down and my mind keeping making up scenarios for everything that could go wrong tomorrow"

Mew figured as much. He could hear the tremor in the younger's voice.

"Yai nong, it's okey" Mew hopes the endearment would ease him up a bit. "It's only natural, especially since it's something new to you. Take a deep breathe for me okey” Mew could hear Gulf as he inhaled and exhaled, loosening off his lungs.

"That's it, good job. Now I want you to remember how well you did at the workshops. It's practically the same. Only difference is we'll be filming. Mistakes are completely okey and expected." Mew did his best to explain, hoping it would calm the other down enough to get some sleep before tomorrow's filming.

"I'll be with you every step of the way. Almost all the scenes have us together. _We'll do this together okey_ " Mew reassured him.

"Okey...thank you Phi, I feel a little better" His voice no longer sounded like a broken record. "I am sorry for waking you up and putting you through this, I just...I-I don't want to disappoint anyone. I know how important this is" His voice was still sad though.

Mew's heart clenched at the other's fear. His need to _protect_ the his nong felt overwhelming. Gulf had stir something within Mew the moment he had laid his eyes on him and gradually it was blossoming with each day he spent with the younger man. Despite Mew's reluctance to admit his ever growing feeling, he still wanted Gulf unburden and light. _He wanted him happy._

"Don't think too much yai nong, no one is going to be disappointed. We are all in this together. Phi is here na"

"Thank you Phi....I-I umm sorry again for waking you up, I'll see you tomorrow"

"Don't worry about it nong, call me _anytime_ okey. Now try to get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow"

_Yet_ , here he was. Outside the bathroom door with bottle of water. Gulf existed the bathroom and was startled on seeing Mew waiting for him

"Here, drink this" Gulf gratefully accepted the water.

"Come here" Mew took his wrist and dragged him to one of vacant room. Pulling Gulf on his lap, he whispered

"tell Me"

Gulf signed, leaning his head back on Mew's shoulder, staring up at the ceiling. Letting the cool air of the fan up ahead ruffle his hair, knowing he was going to be scolded by the make up artist.

"I don't know.... i thought I was okey but then knowing how much is riding on this...I just...I just got scared" Gulf closed his eyes. “I don't want to mess this up Phi”

"What did I tell you yesterday?"

"I know..."

"Look, it won't be perfect the first time, mistakes are gonna happen anyways. But good thing about mistakes is that we get to _learn_ from it and _improve_ on it" Mew went on. "I have seen you work so hard and improve so much in such little time, I know you can do it, if anyone can, I know it's you"

"P'Mew, why do you always know what to say... are you sure you aren't a psychology major and not a engineer?"

"I dabbled a little on psychology if you must know"

That brought a smile on Gulf's lips. He closed his eyes and tried to let everything Mew had said sink in. He could do this. After about five minutes, Gulf knew they needed to head back, everyone was waiting for them. Gulf got up from Mew's lap, already missing the _warmth_ and _comfort_ his Phi's body had provided.

Forcing those thoughts away, younger extended his hand, pulling the elder up from his chair.

"Thank you Phi, now let's go do this" They existed the room, smiles tugging at both of their lips.

Mew was nervous as well, but it had more to do with the fact that whole show was self-sponsor then on his acting. He wasn't conceited man but he knew he had the ability to embody the charactershe played as long as he had time to study it throughly. Workshop had given him that chance to do so. He felt ready for Tharn.Still, knowing how important this show was to everyone, _to him_ , anxiety bloomed within him.

If anything, he had done his best to reassure the younger man and give him more confidence. As Mew watched Gulf interact with Mild, smile gracing his face, he couldn't help feel sense of _pride_ and accomplishment that, that smile on Gulf's face was _his_ doing.

He looked down at the script in his hand and sign. As he had said to Gulf, mistakes were _inevitable_ but each takes had made the scene better than before. Everyone was doing their best, pulling through despite the humidity Thailand weather often generated.

After going over the script few times, they began filming once again. The rest of the filming went smoothly with no surprise attack from Gulf and he could see his Yai nong's shoulder relax a little more each time they did a new scene. Tension gradually replaced by confidence.

_Mew had spoke too soon._ He should have been use to Gulf's antics by now. Not a single day went by where Gulf didn't say or do some bizarrethings, leaving him dumbfound.

They were almost done for the day. Gulf was tired and had been trying to sneak in a nap here and there. Finally, as Mew was saying his long line, Gulf used Type's drunk state to actually sleep. The whole staff had _coo_ at how adorable he had looked and Mew's heart had _skipped_ a beat at the sight. Gulf held his hand tightly as he slept.

However, it was getting late and they still had one more scene left. Mew should have known Gulf would leave him _breathless_ as soon as they begin. Despite the script and the director and the acting coach constantly reminding him, his nong _kept_ kissing him back when all he needed to do was lie down and let Mew work. The scene that was meant to last five minutes became forty five instead.

Mew's heart was going to burst out of his chest each time Gulf's lip moved against his and honestly, his back was killing him too.

Mew sat on Type's bed as he let theacting director and Gulf talk through the scene once more. Mew himself had given up explaining after last three times. 

"Tell me what's going on in your mind" the coach asked.

"Type is drunk, so won't he just go with the flow, you know?" Gulf answered back and Mew tired not to smile at how Gulf like answer that was but failed miserably.

"Type is drunk yes, but he is too drunk to respond back okey?" the couch explained for the nth time.

"So he is too drunk to kiss back but not drunk enough to thread his finger into Tharn's hair?"

"Yes..?" Even the coach sounded unsure now. Mew was trying his damnest not to burst out laughing.

"Gulf, let's try again okey, and this time DO NOT KISS HIM BACK, I understand your mindset but Type is NOT kissing Tharn back, _understood_?" The firmness is coach voice was clear.

Gulf nodded. He did not kiss him back. _Finally_. After few more angels take, they were finally done for the day. Gulf apologized to everyone but everyone waved it away saying it was fine and he did great. Mew praised him as well while giving him to tummy rub, more for his own sake than Gulf's.

Gulf thanked everyone for their patience once more and promised to do better in the future. He shyly praised Mew back as well and other gave him his devastating smile in return. His red ears making an appearance again.

As soon as Gulf's body hit his bed, the kissing scene flooded back. He realized then how much he had fucked up. He thought he was ready to kiss Mew professionally but his lack of control over his feeling had made them shoot a five minute scene for forty five minutes instead.

_God, how was he going to survive this._

Was he that sexually frustrated, that mere touch of the elder's lips made him lose all control?

God, he still can't believe how he had managed to hid his hardon. This was just the beginning and he was already _losing_ himself.

Gulf pulled a pillow over his head and silently screamed. He knew this was another conversation he needed to have with Mew no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it might be. He might be able to hid his feelings but his body's reaction to Mew was something he couldn't hide for much longer.

Gulf wasn't the only one in this plight as Mew found himself in similar state back in his own room. Replaying the kiss over and over again in his head, smile ghosting his lips _unconsciously_.

His Yai nong was really adorable. _And fuck he tasted good._

Both of them groan into their respective pillow as they did their best to sleep. Much to their dismay, sleep was almost impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been awhile since I have updated and from now on updates will be much slower than before. I am currently studying for my entrance exam for my Master.
> 
> Thank you for being patient and loving this story. I hope you will stick with me till the end. I will do my best to update. 
> 
> Thank you for leaving Kudos and Comments, I love reading them💜❣️!! 
> 
> Let me know how you feel about this chapter 🤧💜


	10. The Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gulf finally masters up the courage to talk about his worries regarding NC scenes with Mew.

Gulf couldn't contain his happiness. He felt like there'll be a permanent smile stuck to his face at this point. Mew was picking him up from his internship and taking him to dinner. Gulf was ecstatic.

He had been busy at his internship when Mew texted him, said he had some work around the area and remembered Gulf mentioning his internship place. Therefore, it only felt right to give him a ride.

—

Mew knew Gulf didn't have a car of his own, therefore it was always his friends or his mom picking and dropping him off. Taking advantage of that information, Mew had asked if Gulf wanted a ride home. Since it was already late, dinner was obviously given.

Neither man had seen each other in two weeks. Filming had been halted due to issues with locations and some equipment. P'Tee had texted early in the morning to inform in the group chat that everything had been resolved and filming should resume shortly. He ended the chat saying he'll send out the official date tomorrow.

____

As much as Mew was looking forward to being back to filming, Gulf was dreading it. Especially since they would officially start shooting the NC scenes. Since Mew was already picking him up, Gulf had the perfect opportunity to talk to him about it. The only problem was he didn't know how to without making himself look like a horny teenager who couldn’t keep it in his pants.

When a kiss had such effect on him, what would Mew's body, fitted perfectly against his own would do to him. He knew he couldn't live down the embarrassment for inevitable that was going to happen. This conversation with Mew was essential for him to be able to look him in the face afterwards and continue this relationship.

Gulf looked down at the texts again for what seems to be the nth time. Now that he plans to have this talk with Mew, small part of him can't help but hope Mew would cancel on him. It was a futile hope.

Mew

**| I am outside |**

New text appears on his screen as he was still staring at the previous exchange. Right on time.

 _Always so punctual._  
  
  
  
  
  
_____

Once Gulf greeted him and got inside the car, Mew was already driving.

"There is this really cozy, small restaurant not 3 blocks from here. Food is great, you'll like it."

"You seem to know the area well"

"Yeah, made multiples trip here while doing my research. One of the professors I am working with for my new research has his office down here." Mew answered nonchalantly.

"Oh" Gulf didn't know how to continue the conversation. He is never good at things like this. He's used to always letting other talk and just stand at the sideline, listening. But glancing at Mew, it seems the other didn't mind the lack of exchange words as much as Gulf had thought. Comfortable silence took over the car as they headed for the restaurant. 

____

The restaurant was cozy as Mew had mentioned, giving off family vibes. The atmosphere was laid back, and the high beaming ceilings and the eclectic décor worked wonders for the ambience. The inside looked warm and inviting. Gulf instantly liked the place. As Gulf was admiring the restaurant, Mew was talking to the host. A waitress arrived at the front, with a simple wai, mentioned them to follow her at the back of the restaurant, away from prying eyes but clear view of the street outside through the large glass wall. Mew thanked her for being so accommodating, motioning Gulf to sit down at the same time.

____

"Their spicy pad thai is really good" Mew knew Gulf was fond of spicy food.

"But you don't eat spicy"

"They have more than one palate choice you know" Mew smiled.

"Right, of course" Gulf replied, laughing awkwardly. Mew couldn't help but find him more adorable.

The waitress came back to take their orders and left. This was the perfect chance for him to bring up the topic. Tell him about how he felt regarding NC scene, more so, how his body might react. They would be filming it soon enough and its better Mew knows so Gulf can save himself some face. This time, he knows he won't be able to hide it, knowing Mew would be kneeling right in front of his member, while he fakes an orgasm.   
  


"Come now, out with it" Mew’s voice startled Gulf out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" is the best response he could managed. For last five minutes, he's been going over and over on how to approach the topic. How to tell Mew about his fear without making it sound wrong. How exactly does one approach a topic about being turn on when pretending to have sex while filming a show, without letting the co-start you have crush on know his kissing had left him high and dry already.

"You look like you're about to pass out. Are you alright Gulf?"

"H-huh.. y-yes phi, i was just...just thinking..."

"Yes..what is it? Gulf, you know you can always tell me whatever is on your mind, right? Phi is here na."

"Yes..I know, it's just…." Gulf broke their eye contact. He could already feel the heat on his face. God, he was definitely blushing now.

"Gulf..?" Mew was little worried now. The boy was red all over.

"It's embarrassing phi...!" He really does blushes so easily. Mew couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"It's okay na, you don't have to feel embarrassed with me Gulf. Whatever is bothering you, I'll do my best to help."

"Phi is too nice" now Mew was full blown laughing. Gulf really was too adorable for his own good.

"Well then, go on. Tell me"

"..it's just, when we start filming again, it's gonna be NC scenes and I...it's just my... you know it's intimate.....cause we…you and I…I know it's only pretending…but I…my body... it's just....."

Gulf was burning of embarrassment; he could feel the heat all over his body. He was just a blabbering mess now and wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Mew, in the other hand, understood exactly what Gulf was getting at, if his blushing wasn't a dead giveaway already. He wanted to take Gulf's hand and reassure him but looking at Gulf's current state, Mew decided against it.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Nong. It's natural. We are both young and healthy man, so of course our body would react"

"Wait, your reacted too" Gulf wiped his face forward, his bambi eyes wide and innocent, staring right at Mew. Now Mew felt a little embarrassed.

"Umm.. well no"

"Oh" Gulf looked dejected, his eyes falling back to his hands again.

"But we have only kissed so far, and like you said we'll be filming NC scenes soon. So, it's very likely for our body to react. You don't need to be shy about it at all. It's happened to me before when I filmed my previous show, you don't need to worry or stress about it na nong."

"It's not...disgusting to you..?" Gulf's voice was barely over whisper, but Mew heard him clearly.

"Of course not. Like I said, it's very natural. Nothing to be ashamed of." This time Mew did reach out and took Gulf's hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"Thank you na phi" his voice was still low, still coated with embarrassment. However, hearing Mew's answers took all the worries and stress he had about incoming filming away. He finally looked up at his Phi and gave him his winning smile, who cared if his face still resembled a tomato.

____

Both were famished by the time their food arrived. They dig in right away, comfortable silence enveloping them as they ate.

As Gulf ate, he couldn't help but think about how far he had come. Once upon a time, he had dreamt to be an actor, but his dream had been short lived when he couldn't land any other role after his cameo on the soap opera as a teenager. He had finally let that dream go and found a new one, soccer. But now here he was. His first dream, at brink of being fulfilled. There was a feeling inside of him, fear or excitement, he couldn’t differentiate.

He felt that maybe, all his life, everything he had done, has been for this moment, pushing him here, where dreams and reality merged and became one.

"I feel like this is exactly where I should be, but at the same time I feel like an outsider, an intruder"

Gulf couldn't help but voice his concern. Mew made him comfortable, made him open up and tell him secrets he never wanted to share with others. He made him feel like an open book.

Mew looked at him then, daring Gulf to meet his eyes. It took him a little bit but finally Gulf looked up, finding Mew's crescent eyes already on him. His lips also mimicked his moonshape eyes. Gulf felt transfixed. There was something about Mew's eyes, since the first time he had looked into it, that seems to draw people in. It was as if he was hiding all the answers in those golden hazel eyes of his.

"When dreams come true, it feels a little scary at the time. Surreal. As if everything will break if you take a wrong step. It feels fragile."

They look at each other. There is sadness in Mew's eyes as he speaks and somehow Gulf feels the weight of his unshed tears.

"You probably already heard about me" It wasn't a question, but Gulf nods either way.

"Yet, I never saw any judgement in your eyes, bias in any ways you treated me, treat me"

"Your past isn't any of my business. I don't know who you were then, only who you are now. The now you have always been kind to me. You have always encouraged me, advised me, taught me things I lack and continue to do so. The picture they painted of you in the media isn't the person I know, so why should I treat you any differently."

Mew's heart feel like it's too big for his chest, expanding, making harder for him to breathe. He hadn't expected that from Gulf. In fact, knowing his personality, he had expected Gulf to avoid it altogether. To hear such honest and straightforward answer was the last thing he had expected of him. Though, Gulf had always been unpredictable in the most predictable way.

"Then again, you can't trust anything in media, people always blow things out of proportion. For them, even negative attention is better than no attention at all." Gulf continued.

"Thank you"

And in those two words, Gulf hears his story, his pain, his anguish. He feels his burden, the weight Mew has lived with. And when Mew smiles at him, Gulf can't help but feel as if his acceptance of Mew as he is, has somehow lifted an enormous weight off of him.

___

One day Mew will tell him his story. Story of how he fell in love and broke his own heart in the process. He'll tell him how he learned to forgive and move on. How he vowed never to succumb to such fate again.

Mew breaks their eye contact this time and looks out the window as the late afternoon gives a way to early evening. He watches the stubby squares elongate to faded rectangles, as if stretching and yawning before waning and finally surrendering to the night. Streetlights gradually comes to life, making silhouettes into humans.

__

There was a distance look to his face as Gulf continues to observe him. There is barely anyone else left in the restaurant beside them now. Anxiousness crept into Gulf when Mew still didn't say anything, and Gulf felt wrong to interrupt his thoughts. He absentmindedly picked up his spoon and brought it to his lips, the soup had gone cold. He put it back down and turned his face outside as well. The sun had covered the sky in brilliant hues.

"Dreams are like sunsets. When they finally come true, the beauty of it leaves you breathless but you can't help feel the inevitable, that it will pass on, the moment gone, and everything becomes ordinary again" Mew is looking at Gulf again as he speaks.

"I don't believe that. When dreams comes true and as scary as it is, I think as long as you stay true to that dream, colors are forever."

Mew can't help but smile at that. Such an optimist. The way Gulf sees the world, finding beauty in everything. Mew feels a bit envious, that childhood innocence never really left Gulf. He wished he had done a better job of retaining his, then maybe he too could see the world as Gulf did.

Mew looks at him. Everything around him fades away as his attention is fixed solely on Gulf. There is this ingenuous feel to Gulf, the simplicity of his being that draws Mew in. Childlike innocence in his demure that awake Mew’s protective side. This boy in front of him, who can't seem to meet his eyes, ears red as tomato, fidgeting on his seat makes Mew wants to wrap his arms around him and hide him from all the bad things in the world. And the way he shyly keeps stealing glances makes Mew really want to kiss him.

_Fuck_

Mew knows it's too late. These feelings have been blooming inside of him for awhile now. No matter how much he keeps denying, it does not change the fact he wants this boy. But there is a long way to go before he'll let himself surrender to his feelings. The best he can do for the boy before him is be professional and protect him. He firsthand knows how dark and twisting this industry is. He’s an expert at one-sided crushes anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week's been stressful to say the least. Hope all of you are having a good day. Sending well wishes. Stay safe and healthy and keep supporting our big hearted boys. MewGulf endgame.
> 
> let me know how you feel about this chapter! Kudos and reviews are always appreciated. 
> 
> (also been thinking about writing an NC scene but i have never done it before. I always get so embarrassed, ahha.... should i try or....ahah.)
> 
> okay bye.


	11. The Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gulf feels lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On this chapter, I wanted to explore Gulf’s feeling a bit more. He’s new to this industry so he must be feeling immense pressure to do well. I just wanted to dive in a bit deeper. 
> 
> Also I suck at describing a fight scene. I tired 😓 but yeah....
> 
> I would love to read your thoughts on this chapter. Let me know what you think. Kudos and review are always appreciated.  
> 💜💜 
> 
> I should seriously get back to studying but MewGulf keeps distracting me 😅😫

For past few months, Gulf feels like he’s been helpless, useless, stuttering mess. Suddenly thrust into unknown territory, he feel like a child, trapped. He no longer feels like himself.

He’s an introvert. He doesn’t like to approach people and people might find him unkind or stoic at first but he’s nice and sweet once you know him. He doesn’t let people in easily and has a small circle of friends he deeply cares about and vice versa.

But now he’s no longer just that. He’s crushing on a guy who’s probably still nursing a broken heart and is a blabbering mess whenever he is with him. He’s treated as a child in the set, letting people touch him despite his discomfort of unfamiliar hands. He knows they don’t mean anything bad, yet he doesn’t have the strength nor the confidence to voice his uneasiness.

He’s well aware of the fact that it’s all up to him on how his environment is but fear clouds his confidence. If only he had courage to speak up. 

He passed the audition didn’t he? He was constantly praised for his improvements on acting too, wasn’t he? Yet, fear of letting down Mew and those who put their faith on him was too much. It render him helpless. Always wanting to please and appease others despite his own needs.

____

Shooting would start back up in two day as P’Tee had mention in the email. After his conversation with Mew, his stress has subsided exponentially but there was still that lingering fear, doubt that he didn’t have what it take. That he’ll probably be an disappointment.

He knows this feelings, this storm that he’a currently envelope in isn’t forever. There are always phases in life that ones goes through, storm one needs to pass by. They aren’t forever and every storm comes with its departure pre-written but who you become in the end, how you let it shape you depends all on how you handle that phase, that storm.

He knows, yet becoming an disappointment was so much easier than trying to have other _understand_ you.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t walk away when every other instinct inside him scream to ignore the taunt of the man in front him. When his mind told him not to be irresponsible. It’s not only about the image he’ll have to uphold from now on but also the fact he can’t have bruises on him when shooting. 

Maybe because he already felt like a disappointment and adding one more to it didn’t make much difference that when a fist came right for his face, he didn’t dodge. Now that he’s been punched, it’s only right to fight back, to defend himself. _Isn’t it?_

_____

Lately Gulf had been feeling out of it, like he was losing control of everything around him, of himself. He had been playing game on his phone but he kept on losing. He never lost, especially the ones he’s played a thousand times before that they became a muscle memory.

The problem was he couldn’t focus. His mind was filled with thoughts, overloaded that he couldn’t separate them. He felt like he was choking on his own feelings. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, the walls of his condo felt like they were closing on him, suffocating him. He needed to get _out_. 

He picked up his soccer ball and headed for the field few blocks from his place. Evening air felt damp and cool, smelling faintly of a car's exhaust fumes. Sun was dipping lower in the sky, as if announcing blackness of night that was yet to come. 

He stood at least 10 feet away from the goalie’s net and started kicking. He easily scored, having no one to block his kicks. He would kick the ball, retrive it, do it all over again. He kept the cycle going, his stress, his frustration, his lack of control, all seeping out of him into his kicks as they became more powerful each time.

It felt good, good to finally have control over something in his current predicament. Soccer was his _solace_ and cruse himself on why he hadn’t done this faster, why he hadn’t taken refuge in this open field from his burden earlier. 

He finally felt like himself, finding a fragment of his life that remained _unchanged_. Part of himself that he could still control gave him immense relief he didn’t know he was seeking.

Gulf didn’t know how long he’s been here but it’s been long enough for the sun to sank lower in the sky, light of day draining away, giving way to the velvety dark of night. He could hear the crickets chirping, buzz of mosquitoes circling him. It was time to go. He felt good despite the exhaustion of his excursion. Sleep would be fast and easy tonight. Then he heard _them_.

There were at least three of them. Captain and strikers from his rival team. Gulf was wellaware of their personalities and how they got each time they lost a game to his team. Gulf was the star player of his teams, scoring most of their winning goals so he knew their hatred for him ran deep.

His team has kept the championship title for consecutive 3 years.Therefore, He knew exactly what they were looking for but he still had a choice to walk way. To ignore their homophobic rants. His casting on BL series wasn’t a secret and his friends had been proudly declaring his accomplishment given the chance. So Gulf isn’t surprise about them knowing, honestly he isn’t surprised about their attitude toward him nor toward LGBTQ community. Toxic masculinity _seethe_ out of them. 

He had already released his stress, he could walk away. Their words had little impact on him anyways. Top of that, he couldn’t afford to get into fights right now.

But when _Mew’s name_ came out of his lips, Gulf went still. His fear, insecurity, lack of control griped him. Mew’s name out of his mouth felt like a slap on his face.

_How dare they? What did they know of him of speak like that?_

Anger boiled inside Gulf, rage fueled him. It came off of him in waves, everything he’s been holding back. So he spit at his face and a fist collided to his. _As expected_.

_____

He couldn’t help a little smirk that graced his face as he brought his own fist to his opponents’. One against three wasn’t a fair fight and Gulf was bound to lose but he wasn’t going down that easily.

He’s been in his fair share of fights, he knew how to handle himself. So he kept pounding his fist on the captain; taking out the leader meant leaving his followers disorient and confuse.

But he soon found himself being pulling off of the captain by his sidekicks and on the warm soccer field. Before he had a chance to cover his head, they were kicking him over and over again, no part of him left untouched.

But Then he heard it, his name. At first, it felt like a distance whisper but gradually it gain crescendo, then it was right in front of him, loud and clear. Suddenly the kicking stop and screaming of his enemy begin as Rune slammed his whole body against the one in the right and begin redecorating his face.

Other was heading for Rune but Gulf was faster, ready and expecting, as he lifted his right leg, body still on ground and he kicked him right on his shin. The striker fall to the ground with a scream, clutching his balls in his hand. 

Hearing that, Rune let go his opponent and walked to help Gulf up. Neither of them gave the other team a second glance as they walked away. 

_____

“I knocked. You weren’t home and it was getting late. I figured you be here” Rune answered Gulf’s unasked question.

Gulf nodded.

“Fuck man. Your lips busted” Then Gulf felt the pain, those kicks on his thighs and stomach. “Well at least your face is pretty unscathed. Shooting’s in two days. Your lips should heal by then”

Gulf nodded again. His lips would heal by then but he wasn’t sure about the bruises currently forming on his body.

He really fucked up this time, _didn’t he_.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know how it is and leave kudos if you like it! I am little nervous about this one 😣😣!!


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